Day 242
123 Days Remaining
I'm on the plane on the way back to
Victoria, via San Francisco. It's been a bumpy flight but it seems
calm enough now to sit down and try to get you all caught up on my
last few days. I don't even know how to express how amazing this
entire trip has been. I'm so grateful for everything that I've
experienced and everyone I've met.
Friday morning I tried to sleep in a
bit, but the continental breakfast was calling me. I made my way
down to the “breakfast room” and loaded up on homemade waffles –
they had a pump that dispensed the exact amount of batter for each
waffle and then each customer could make their own waffle with the
big waffle makers. I didn't really want a waffle all that badly, but
I had to try it out. It was really delicious. After breakfast I
headed back up to my room and basically lazed around for much of the
day; I knew that I was going to have a busy couple of days ahead of
me and I wanted to take the opportunity to relax whenever I got the
chance. I did make my way down to the pool and hot tub, and – even
though the sky was quite overcast and it wasn't exactly what I would
call California temperature out – I forced myself into the water
for a swim. I really didn't want to say that I stayed at a hotel
with a pool for three days and never once went into the pool! I pretty much threw myself into the cold, cold water, swam the length of it, and jumped out to run straight for the hot tub. Punching the button for the jets, I sank under the bubbling water with a sigh.
This is a good time to address what
several of you have already asked me about – my Michelin Man. Yes,
this trip was originally planned in order for Mitch and I to finally
get the opportunity to see each other in person, and we had planned
to meet in San Diego and spend a couple of days together before
heading up to Temecula for the Reality Rally. Unfortunately, Mitch
wasn't able to make it. I had known that was a possibility for a
little while, yet I still had a small hope that he would somehow manage to
come...but it didn't happen. Nonetheless, I knew that this would be a
great adventure for me, and I also knew that I would enjoy myself
regardless of whether Mitch and I got to spend some time together. I
am a bit sad that now I don't know when our meeting will happen, but
the time I had alone was invaluable and I wouldn't trade it for
anything. I also feel very sad for Mitch, as he had a family tragedy
that made any slim chance of his meeting me in California a complete
impossibility. It was hard to be having so much fun while I knew he
was going through something very difficult; my texts were alternating
between enthusiastic and sympathetic. I wanted badly to be able to
support him, while he was attempting to share my excitement for what
I was doing on my trip, but we both have had a difficult time with it.
So this brings me to what I mentioned
the other day: how every day of this wonderful adventure has found
me
crying. Friday morning in the hot tub I sat and just thought about
Mitch and what he was going through, and prayed again, asking God to
guide me with what I should do with our relationship and also asking
that He would support Mitch as he goes through this really difficult
time. I asked that I would have clarity with how I should approach
this relationship – because certainly, though it may not have a
label, this is definitely a
relationship of some sort – and that I will continue to be strong if it
becomes apparent that it will not work out. I prayed that Mitch
would have support in his grieving, and as he supports those close to
him who have also suffered this loss. I cried thinking about the
life that has been taken away, and how hard it is for the family who
has been left behind. I also asked that God please never take my
beautiful, incredible children from me.
I was
terrified. There's
something about showing up for an event like that on one's own - and early - that
can really kick the nerves into high gear. Add to that the fact that
all the people I saw in the parking lot were in jeans or shorts
(though the invite clearly said “cocktail attire”) and it added
up to one incredibly nervous Lisa. I felt overdressed and
conspicuous as I went to the Will Call table to receive the wristband that showed I belonged. I
made small talk with the ladies manning (womanning?) the table, and
they were encouraging. “There are lots of good-looking guys here,
and you look gorgeous,”
said one, “so get in there and have fun.”
It's a little
easier to wander and mingle with a glass in one's hand (never mind
the relaxing effect of the alcohol itself) so I purchased a glass of
champagne (Wilson Creek's signature cuvée – absolutely
delicious, and seeming fitting for the occasion) and planted myself
near the greeters to make small talk and watch everyone wander in. I
saw several reality stars right off the bat, but as it was still
early, it took some time for them to arrive and for my nerves to
settle.
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And soon enough, I
was in my element. I met so many people I had watched on television
over the last few years, and they were all so gracious and easy to
talk with. I couldn't believe how much fun I was having, how many in-depth conversations I was able to have, how at home and comfortable I felt after just a few minutes. I learned how to play Texas Hold 'Em. I got kissed on the cheek by a reality celeb who said I was "irresistible". I shared some things about my dating hiatus and my relationship with Mitch (although not referring to him by name) with people who were sympathetic and interested. I ate strawberries run through the melted chocolate of a chocolate fountain. And as the party started to wind down, several of the reality stars invited me back to their hotel for their after-party.
After stopping in at my hotel to change into jeans and more comfortable shoes (I could barely walk after hours of trotting around on those heels!) I went to the resort where all the stars were staying, where the after-party was already underway. We danced like crazy and I finally got home around 2am.
After removing my makeup and sliding under the covers, I lay there with a stupid grin on my face. This really is my life right now, I thought. I can't believe it. It was the stuff of many a Lisa-authored short story back when I was a teenager (except the New Kids on the Block were not in attendance this weekend - ha!). It was so far removed from my reality but so exactly where I belonged at that moment. For a moment I allowed myself to think of Mitch and feel slightly sad that he wasn't there with me, but I also knew that if he had been there, I would have been completely focused on him and not have allowed myself to fall so completely into the evening as I had. I needed that.
With that, I drifted off to sleep, knowing that the next day was going to be a busy one. Reality Rally race time!
To be continued.
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