235 Days Remaining
We're going to put aside our first list right now and focus on the last two. What's important here is to take a look at what we've written down and work toward narrowing our focus even more: we've committed to paper some things that we want and don't want in our lives, and now we need to see where we can go from here. It's not enough to just know what you do or don't want; taking steps toward getting to where you want to be in life is what's necessary now. So I'm going to take a look at both of my lists and, from each one, I'm going to choose three different things:
1. Choose which one is the most important (and set a goal as to how you will work toward it).
2. Choose which one is the least important (and let it go).
3. Choose which one you can easily do something about right now.
It's not about which one you want the most - because heaven knows I want a trip to Mexico more than just about anything right now - but about the one that is really most important in the grand scheme of things.
I'm going to take a look at my second list, the one about what I want:
LIST #2: What do you WANT?
1. I want to go on a real vacation
2. I want to get good grades in school
3. I want to have the house, my food, my health, and my studies organized
4. I want to feel back on track with my dating hiatus
5. [Eventually] I want to find a man to be my partner in life - but I want to be properly ready for him when I do.
When I looked at my list and had to choose which one was the most important, I immediately gravitated toward #5: wanting a man to be my partner in life. This is such a big want for me and has been for such a long time. But then I had to remind myself of what I just mentioned: it's not about what you want the most; it's about what is really the most important. When I look at it that way, I had to choose #2: I want to get good grades in school as my most important thing on this list.
At first I thought that getting good grades in school was one of the lower priorities, because I don't want to push myself so hard that I run myself into the ground and have expectations that are way too high or perhaps unattainable. But if I look at it from a "long run" perspective, it leads to so many other things: if I have good grades, I can get into the overseas practicum next year (doing our clinical practice in the Philippines or Nepal rather than in a long-term care facility or hospital here in town), and that is something that I really want to work toward. If I have good grades, I can get into the ESN (Employed Student Nurse) program more easily, which means that after finishing 2nd year, I will be able to work as a nurse while still going to school, and that is both practical (since I would be getting paid more than I get paid for my current job; I will begin building seniority hours; and I will be making contacts for job possibilities once I graduate) and exciting (I'd feel like a real nurse and get experience that other people may not!). Also, I could earn bursaries and will definitely find it easier to get a good job once I am finished, if I keep my grades up. I may want a partner, but I may never find one, so I have to work toward setting up a good and solid life for myself.
So, I will continue to work toward getting good grades in school - not pushing myself too hard or to the point of exhaustion, and not expecting straight A's of myself, but doing my best. Getting and keeping everything organized will make a big difference with that.
Now: which one is least important?
I think I will cross off #1: I want to go on a real vacation, as least important. Yes, it is important that I get a vacation, but not essential right now, and certainly there are great ways for me to relax and recuperate and get feeling rejuvenated and pepped up without actually shelling out for a big trip away somewhere. I still want it, and I still think it will happen (eventually, or soon), but right now, I am not going to focus on it.
As for which one I can do something about right now, I chose 3. I want to have the house, my food, my health, and my studies organized. These are things that I know I can get going on immediately, since I am not on my Christmas break and I actually have time to organize, sit and think, figure things out, and reflect on what went well last semester and what didn't. Since I made this list, I think I had already subconsciously chosen that one to work on: I've already started getting back into the routine of eating better (I bought a few hundred dollars' worth of fresh food the other day and cleaned out all the old, rotten food I've left untouched in my fridge for the last few weeks); doing my exercise plan; and putting away all the old school notes and getting ready to begin a new semester. I've also managed to fold (and put away!) all my laundry (it's a miracle!), shop for most of the Christmas presents on my list, and blog again! This week I'll be doing quite a bit of cleaning around the house - it's been so neglected in the weeks leading up to and during final exams. And I'm hosting Christmas dinner here, so it had better be in shape quickly!
So, that's what you do with List #2 (and #3 as well, so if you want to tag along with me and get yours done before I move on to the next post, please do!). Here's what my list looks like now:
LIST #2: What do you WANT?
2. I want to get good grades in school (in progress)
4. I want to feel back on track with my dating hiatus
5. [Eventually] I want to find a man to be my partner in life - but I want to be properly ready for him when I do.
#4 and #5 are still important, and they are still on my list, but they can wait until I have gotten some work done on the other things. If they happen concurrently (which actually is what seems to be happening), that`s great, too: the most important thing is that I feel as though I have made some progress and I`m not just sitting there wishing that I had certain things in my life. The list is a lot smaller, and that makes it more manageable.
See you soon,
L
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