Saturday, 15 December 2012

The Contentment Project, Day Two

Day 128
237 Days Remaining

Seeing as school, work, kids, illness, and final exams all collided and kept me from focusing on much else (you should see the piles of laundry around here, and until yesterday, my fridge was a disaster area), I have not written here as often as I would have liked.  We had our FINAL final exam yesterday, so here I am, ready to write and focus on some different parts of my life.

Have any of you taken The Contentment Project to heart and made your lists?  I do recommend it; it's a good eye-opener and helps to refocus you on what you priorities should be.  I know that I do often need something to kick-start me back on track, so I'm hoping that with this winter season, Christmas break, and the new school semester to look forward to, I'll be revitalized and ready to move in a new direction.

So the first thing I will do is post my lists for you, so that you can see where I'm at when it comes to what I have, what I want, and what I don't want.  The next step will be Day Three, where I take each of those lists and do something with them.

LIST #1:  What do you have NOW?

These are the things that I am most thankful for in my life, "things" that I want to keep around and that enhance my life and benefit me in a positive way.  I think when I did the initial Contentment Project for my friend, I left this list to last, but I want to start with it because I think it's important to keep the most important parts of my life at the forefront of my mind.

1. My family and friends - I have the greatest support network anyone could ask for

2. My beautiful children - they make me so proud

3. I am working toward my education - I am finally doing what I`ve wanted to do for years

4. I love the house I am living in and my huge soaker bathtub

5.  The library - I can read anything I want at any time!

LIST #2:  What do you WANT?

The "things that I want" list was one that was initially difficult to begin writing...but once I started I found that I could come up with many more than five!  I think these are the ones that are most important to me at this point.

1. I want to go on a real vacation - I miss Mexico! I went for my sister`s wedding in 2007 and it is my dream to go back and feel as relaxed as I did for that week.  It was my first real vacation, and the first and last time that I have ever been fully relaxed.

2. I want to get good grades in school - When I did my Resident Care Attendant course back in 2008, I worked hard at it but I also found it relatively easy, so I managed to get straight As.  Likewise when I upgraded my high school in order to get into the nursing program.  I don't expect myself to get straight As, but I intend to do as well as I can - without burning myself out.

3. I want to have the house, my food, my health, and my studies organized - I was doing so well with this during the first few months of school but need to reorient myself; I think I did get overwhelmed with everything.  The past month or so I've been eating a lot of fast food. :-S

4. I want to feel back on track with my dating hiatus - I had a long talk with Stringer the other day, basically outlining where I feel I've fallen "off the wagon", as it were, and he gave me some helpful pointers.  I will share the results of that in another blog entry.

5. [Eventually] I want to find a man (a "MOG" as my daughter calls it: a "man of God") to be my partner in life - but I want to be properly ready for him when I do.  This is a long-term goal.

...and eventually, MOG and I can go here together...

LIST #3:  What is in your life that you DON'T want?

1. Men - still dealing with things about HB and Fig, and recognizing that I am totally off base where I want to be with each of them and with my expectations of myself when it comes to any men, from the past, the present, or in the future.

2. Tension with past roommates - I had three roommates (tenants, really, as they rented out rooms from me) that I got along with at first, but as time went on it got more and more uncomfortable, until they all gave their notice at the same time.  Any time I have to talk with them it is awkward, uncomfortable, and makes me miserable.  Every time I'm in the kitchen and reach for something that I realize one of them took with her (a constant irritant...grrrr...) it reminds me of that tension.

3. Worry, stress, and fear - I don't have a lot of this, but I do have mornings when I wake up and suddenly am hit with an attack of "Oh am I going to do this?"  Sometimes it's about money, sometimes it's about housing (we likely will have to be out of this house at the end of March), and sometimes it's about the kids.  I don't like those early morning wake-ups; they mean I can't get back to sleep until I figure out what comes next. 

4. Negative people - there aren't a lot of negative people in my life, but one ex-tenant in particular comes to mind.  There are also a couple of people on Facebook that post things that seem intended to get people down.

5. My job - this one surprised me, as I originally put my job on List #1, but then recognized that although I do enjoy my job, and its flexibility is wonderful with school and the kids, I also really wish I wasn't working right now so that I could really focus on school during the week and the kids during the weekends when we're off school together.  If I could go without my job, it would help a lot in some ways.

So, there you go - my three lists.  Has it encouraged you to make your own?  Soon I will post about what do with the lists...It's time to make some changes, and to be content with what doesn't change.

See you soon,


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